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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Sep 30, 2020

So many people struggle to speak up or make a request to get their needs or wants met, so I tell you all the time that you can ask anyone for anything. But just as you have the freedom to ask, the other person has the freedom to say “no” if they so choose. (They can also say “yes” or negotiate a different agreement with you.) An email I received recently is a perfect example of both this freedom to ask, and the freedom to decline.

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #107:

  • It’s better to ask and get a “no” than to just not ask. Often, people will even be happy or excited to be able to do something for you.
  • When you ask someone for something, the other person is completely free to say either “yes” or “no”—or to negotiate another agreement.
  • A recent email inspired this episode, and gives me the opportunity to demonstrate how to receive a request and how to say “no” if the request doesn't work for you.

Highlights from Episode #107:

  • Vicki welcomes listeners to the episode, and explains the inspiration for today’s topic. [00:39]
  • We hear about the three possible answers that someone can give when you make a request. [02:41]
  • Vicki reads the email that she received recently that inspired this episode. [04:10]
  • We hear a quick aside from Vicki to clarify that she absolutely wants women to respect and honor themselves before she continues to read the email. [09:13]
  • Vicki completely agrees about the negativity of certain demeaning words, she explains. However, the name of the podcast is not at all the equivalent of calling women the B-word. [10:13]
  • The name of the podcast was inspired by a quote that Vicki saw in 2015. [11:31]
  • Vicki reiterates that you can ask for anything. In the case of the email request she received, the answer is “thank you for your feedback, and no. I wish you all the best.” [13:43]


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