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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries


Oct 21, 2020

I’ve definitely felt left out, forgotten, or excluded… and I’m guessing you have, too. This episode, which was inspired by a listener’s question, is about what to do when you feel that way. I’ll do things a little differently this time! Using the question as a foundation, I’ll walk you through the 5-Step Boundary Solution Process. (Follow along with the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier.)

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #110:

  • Trying to figure out the “why” of someone who makes you feel left out is generally a distraction and a waste of time. You can only get the answer by asking them, and they may or may not tell the truth.
  • There are two options for how to stop the sort of situation that the listener has described: try to get the other person to change, or make your own changes.
  • People don’t “make” us feel left out (or anything else). Instead, it’s our own thoughts about the data that make us feel a certain way.
  • In this situation of feeling left out, you have two options for taking action: limit or stop contact with the person/people involved, or make a specific request of them.

 

Highlights from Episode #110:

  • Welcome to Episode #110! Vicki talks about the feeling of being left out, which is something we all go through. [00:39]
  • We hear the listener’s question that inspired this episode, as well as a quick recap of the 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier. [03:30]
  • Vicki talks about how the first step of the process applies to this situation. [07:50]
  • We hear how the second step works in Vicki’s example of feeling left out. [14:33]
  • The third step is to identify your power center. Vicki explains which of the four options fit. [17:27]
  • Vicki points out that the listener who asked today’s question has the power to make this situation stop. [26:40]
  • The fourth step is to take action based on what we’ve discovered. Vicki goes into depth about how this could work in this situation. [28:39]
  • Vicki chats about the fifth step, which is evaluating your results. [35:43]
  • We hear a quick recap of the points that Vicki has covered in today’s episode. [38:24]

 

Links and Resources: