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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Nov 4, 2020

If you’ve ever gotten into an argument with someone else about the reality of a certain situation, or what “really happened,” this episode is for you. The fact is that your reality is what is true for you in the moment, and someone else having a different reality doesn’t mean that yours, or theirs, is either “correct” or “wrong.” Tune in to learn why it’s okay to disagree about reality, and why (as Terry Real says) there is no place for objective reality in relationships.


Biggest Takeaways From Episode #111:

  • It’s very common for two people to experience the same situation or event very differently, and come away with different thoughts, emotions, or experiences.
  • In the end, your reality is the only reality that you truly need—and it’s the only one you can have. This doesn’t mean that another person’s reality doesn’t matter, but you don’t need to come to an agreement about which one is “true” or “correct.”
  • In a relationship, two people can share their realities with each other, and may or may not come to an understanding. But it’s not always necessary (or possible) to agree on what reality is.
  • If you have a high need to agree about what happened, invite yourself to explore what comes up for you when you and your spouse see things in a fundamentally different way.


Highlights from Episode #111:

  • Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode, which was inspired by several questions from a listener about coming to an understanding about reality.  [00:39]
  • We hear the highlights and relevant questions that inspired this episode, which came in response to Vicki’s story from Episode #18 of the podcast. [04:09]
  • Two people can have very different experiences of the same event, Vicki points out. [08:04]
  • What exactly is reality? Vicki digs into the topic, and explores why reality is so subjective. [12:41]
  • Vicki shares an example to explain her point about different realities. [16:20]
  • There’s only one reality for you in any given moment: your reality. [20:29]


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