Jan 13, 2021
Before we get into the main part
of this episode, I have a big announcement! Starting in February,
I’ll be offering monthly workshops to support you as you work your
way through the 5-Step Boundary Solution
Sign up for
workshop updates and more details using this link!
The idea of calibration is a
hugely important one when you’re doing boundary work. This scale
for what is standard or normal affects so many parts of our lives,
from our initial reactions to people all the way to who we choose
to date or to partner with. But just because you’re calibrated in a
certain way regarding boundaries, it doesn’t mean you’re fated to
stay there forever. You can change your calibration in a positive
way, and this episode will help you get started.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #118:
- The calibration we receive as children has many
consequences over our lives. We are calibrated by our family around
our own boundaries. For example, if we grow up in a boundary-less
family, that will feel like "the norm" or standard to
- The way in which we are calibrated largely
determines the people who we are attracted to, as well as the
people who we feel repelled by. This explains why people often
partner with people who are similar to their parents.
- Calibration isn’t static, and it can change. If
you grew up in a family on the boundary-less end of the continuum
and struggle to set boundaries with people, you can actively start
to work on your boundaries.
- Calibration can change in the other direction
too, with us becoming desensitized over time.
Highlights from Episode #118:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to the
show and wishes everyone a happy New Year! She then shares the
exciting announcement that she hinted at in the last episode of
- Today’s episode is about
calibration, Vicki explains, and chats about what that means.
- We learn that there are three
reasons why we’re generally most impressionable (in terms of
calibration) when we’re children. [07:38]
- Vicki gives an overview of how
calibration relates to boundaries in terms of standards.
- How you’re calibrated can
affect how you react to people, Vicki explains. [14:49]
- We hear some good news and some
bad news about calibration. [20:46]
- How do you change your
calibration in a positive way once you become aware of it?
- Vicki talks about some simple
ways for how to shift from being boundary-less to the healthy
Links and Resources: