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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Jun 9, 2021

Are you ready to trade your triangles for straight lines? Don’t worry, you’re not back in geometry class; this is actually related to the talking boundary. Triangulation is something that we do all the time, but we should all work toward straightening out those lines and practicing direct communication whenever possible. (There are a few notable exceptions, which I’ll also address in this episode.)


Biggest Takeaways From Episode #137:

  • Triangulation describes a common but harmful form of communication. To understand it, think of a triangle pointing upward. Person A is at the point on top. Person B and Person C are at the other two points of the triangle. Triangulation happens when Person A goes to Person B to talk about (or try to get information to or from) Person C.
  • The problem with triangulation is that it’s an indirect, ineffective, and often manipulative form of communication. 
  • The solution is to avoid triangulation. You can do this by removing your side of the triangle, creating a straight line directly between the two people who want to communicate.


Highlights from Episode #137:

  • Vicki welcomes listeners, and shares what she’ll be talking about today. [00:39]
  • What is triangulation? Vicki offers an explanation to clarify the possibly unfamiliar term. [01:56]
  • We hear some examples of how triangulation commonly happens. [06:51]
  • The problem with triangulation is that it’s indirect and ineffective, Vicki explains. It’s also often manipulative. [11:22]
  • What’s the solution for this communication triangulation? [12:40]
  • Vicki shares some examples of how you can avoid triangulation, even if it’s something you’ve participated in previously. [14:55]
  • Practicing the tools that Vicki has recommended helps to keep communication clean and direct. [19:03]
  • Vicki recaps what she has talked about in today’s episode. [22:33]

Links and Resources: