#23 - TMI, and Other Problems When Sharing Personal Information

Aug 15, 2018

I don’t hear the term “TMI” (which stands for “too much information") much anymore, but it perfectly fits what we’ll be exploring in this episode. Some of us tend to share too much, while others tend not to share as much as we should. This episode includes a homework assignment you can complete after you listen that will help you figure out with whom and how much to share—using what I call the Zones of Intimacy and the Zones of Privacy.

 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #23:

• Sharing personal information with others can fall on a spectrum between sharing too much on one end, to not sharing enough on the other. How much personal information you should share depends on who you’re talking to, the context, and the type of information.
• Anonymous people or casual acquaintances you come into contact with in your everyday life don’t have a right to your personal information. However, the more intimate the relationship is, the more personal information we should share.
• To determine how much of your personal information you should share, you need to understand Zones of Intimacy and Zones of Privacy. Imagine two sheets of paper, each with five concentric circles. One sheet contains the people in your life, and the other contains your personal information. In the Zone of Privacy, the innermost circle contains extremely personal information such as your sexual preferences, vulnerabilities, and your deepest wishes. The outermost circle contains mundane information, such as what kind of car you drive or the general area where you live.
• Ideally, your Zones of Intimacy Zones of Privacy should match. For example, you would only share your most private, personal information with your intimate partner or spouse.

 

Highlights from Episode #23:

• Vicki introduces the topic of today’s episode, and explores what TMI is. [00:48]
• We hear more about oversharing, under-sharing, and some common experiences involved with sharing. [03:41]
• Vicki clarifies how the topic she’s covering today is different from determining whether information is secret or private. [09:35]
• The tool that Vicki shares in this episode (Zones of Intimacy and Zones of Privacy) involves two sets of concentric circles. She explains what these circles represent in both zones. [11:02]
• We learn how the Zones of Privacy correspond with the Zones of Intimacy. [16:17]
• What it means for your Zones of Intimacy and Zones of Intimacy to match up. [21:43]
• Vicki recaps what she has covered in today’s episode. [28:02]

 

Links and Resources:

• Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
• 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier