Oct 3, 2018
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #30:
- Everything that happens to us is our private information. We
get to decide when to share that information, how, and with whom.
This is a good starting point for thinking about the topic of
sharing experiences involving sexual abuse, harassment, or
- There are many reasons that a woman might not share her
experiences of sexual abuse, harassment, or assault. In today’s
episode, you’ll hear about the eight most common:
- You were told that something bad would happen to you if you
- You were ashamed or felt “icky.”
- You thought, or were told, that no one would believe you.
- You needed stability.
- You were abused as a child and it seemed like just more of the
- You may have thought it was your fault.
- You were afraid.
- You saw what happens to so many women who speak up.
The first episode of each month focuses on women and boundaries.
This one is a personal message from me to every woman who has
hesitated or decided not to tell anyone about being sexually
abused, harassed, or assaulted. Tune in to learn how this relates
to boundaries and privacy.
Highlights from Episode #30:
- Vicki talks about the #MeToo era and a common question that
goes along with it: “why did it take so long for the victim to tell
her story?” [02:06]
- Situations of sexual abuse between an adult and a child are not
“relationships,” Vicki points out, then talks about the dynamics of
these situations. [06:48]
- Vicki moves on to talking about sexual abuse, assault, and
harassment in adult relationships. [08:52]
- Vicki explains that there are eight common reasons why a woman
might not tell, and lists what they are. [09:44]
- Any time that there’s a power differential between someone
seeking sex and the person they’re seeking it from, there’s some
kind of exploitation going on. [17:37]
- We hear more reasons why a woman may not have told.
- Vicki talks about making the choice to disclose your
- Let’s not blame victims by asking “why,” Vicki requests.
Links and Resources:
Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Moving Beyond Betrayal
by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Boundary Solution Clarifier
Beyond Bitchy episode 21
Here’s Why Roger Ailes’ Sexual Harassment Victims Took So Long
to Speak Up by Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Huffington Post