Dec 19, 2018
Welcome to Part 2 in my series on the listening boundary! It
bears repeating that this is the most complicated of the four
primary boundaries, and today, we’ll go straight into the heart of
using this boundary in practice.*
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #39:
- Listening with curiosity and the intention of knowing the other
person better is the foundation for using the listening boundary
well. The closer the relationship you have with someone, the more
challenging it is to maintain a strong listening boundary.
- There are only a few listening boundary violations. Examples
include looking away for an extended period of time, rolling your
eyes, or any overt signs of disinterest or boredom—like
yawning—while someone is talking to you one-on-one.
- Once you listen with curiosity and respect, you’ll notice one
of three things: you have the same perception as they do, you have
a different perception, or you need more information to know what
you think and feel about what you've heard.
- People with certain traits or mental health issues can have
problems with the listening boundary and taking what others say
very personally. They may interpret a simple matter like which
restaurant you prefer to go to as a major indicator about how you
feel about them.
- Highlights from Episode #39:
- Vicki shares that she's getting over a cold, and touches on the
subject of boundaries and illness. [00:48]
- This episode is Part 2 of the listening boundary series, Vicki
explains, then reminds listeners about what the listening boundary
- Vicki briefly reviews the pre-work for the listening boundary,
much of which she covered in
Episode 37. [07:08]
- Vicki dives further into how to use the listening boundary.
- We hear about the three possible experiences when you listen
with interest and respect. [12:41]
- What do you do when you have a different perception than the
other person? [17:29]
- We hear about some issues when having a different perception
requires more conversation. [21:41]
- Vicki talks about the third of the three options when you’re
- We learn about a few of the many challenges involved in using
the listening boundary. [24:52]
- Vicki touches on the question of how to work on self-esteem.
*Information about the listening boundary presented in this
episode is adapted from the work of Pia
Links and Resources: