Jan 2, 2019
Thank you for joining me for the third and final part in my
series on the complicated—but so important—listening boundary. If
you’ve missed the earlier episodes, I recommend that you go back to
Part 1 and
Part 2. Today, we’ll move from what happens to you internally
as you listen to how you may want to respond.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #40:
- When your listening boundary is working well, you’re not only
filtering what you’re hearing, but also paying very close attention
to your own thoughts that are generated in response to what was
- When what the other person said is also true for you, you can
simply say that you agree.
- If what they said isn’t true for you, start your response with
the part that you do agree with. This is called “leading
- If you’re not really sure whether you agree with what you
heard, or what you think about it, you can ask clarifying
questions. It’s also okay not to have an opinion, or to say that
you don’t know.
- There are some tools or skills to use when you’re in a
difficult situation. These include paying attention to the physical
space between you and the other person, remembering who the other
person is to you, and creating a sense of protection for
Highlights from Episode #40:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to the third part of her series on the
listening boundary. [00:48]
- We hear a quick recap of what Vicki covered in Part 2 of the
- Vicki talks about how you might proceed based on the three
internal responses if your listening boundary is working well.
- If someone important in your life tends to automatically
respond with a “no,” a great strategy is to tell them what you want
to talk about and suggest having the conversation later.
- Vicki makes another point about areas where you have a
difference of opinion. These situations can cause stress in
- We learn about how to respond if you’re not sure what you think
or whether you agree. [18:04]
- Vicki shares some tools and skills for dealing with a difficult
situation or person. [19:50]
- There are other ways to think about your listening boundary,
Vicki points out, then gives an example. [24:45]
Links and Resources: