Feb 6, 2019
It's the first episode of the month, and that means we're
focusing on boundary issues related to women. While both men and
women can struggle with over-giving, women are particularly
vulnerable to people-pleasing or saying “yes” to every request.
Today, we’ll talk about five signs that you’re over-giving, and
what to do about it.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #45:
- Most women will significantly extend — and overextend —
themselves for others, but they may neglect themselves in the
process. Think of giving and receiving like breathing — giving is
the exhale, and receiving the inhale. Both need to be in
- There are several reasons why women tend to over-give. Women
are trained to be nice and nurturing, they may suffer from
codependency (which can be more apparent in women than men), and
they may believe they have to say “yes” in order to be liked.
- Here are the five signs that you may be over-giving:
- You’re resentful.
- You almost always say “yes” when someone asks you to do
- You consistently feel under-appreciated and undervalued.
- You have a compulsive need or habit to tell others about the
wonderful things you’re doing or how hard you’re working.
- You believe that your “yes” is directly related to how much
someone will like you.
- To end over-giving, try these tools:
- Use the “good enough” test by asking yourself whether what
you’ve done is good enough.
- Ask yourself whether you can say “yes” without feeling
- For a temporary period of time, give to yourself before giving
- Ask a friend or your spouse whether they think you
- For one month, write down all the times you said “yes” and
later regretted it.
Highlights from Episode #45:
- Welcome to episode 45! Today’s topic is over-giving, something
that women tend to be more vulnerable to than men. [00:39]
- We learn about some of the reasons why women are vulnerable to
over-giving, which include pressure to be “nice,” suffering from
codependency, and believing we have to say “yes” to be liked.
- Vicki talks about the first two of the five signs that you may
be over-giving. [10:29]
- If you struggle with saying “no,” Vicki recommends listening to
Episode 34. [16:49]
- We learn about the third and fourth signs of over-giving.
- Vicki explores the fifth sign of over-giving, which involves
saying “yes” too much. [22:24]
- We learn some quick and practical tools to end over-giving.
- Vicki recaps the points that she has covered in today’s
Links and Resources: