Mar 20, 2019
Has anyone ever told you that your boundaries are too harsh?
Probably so! If they have, this is the episode for you. If you
automatically believe your boundaries are too harsh, you will
likely lead you down the wrong path. After all, getting pushback on
boundaries is usually a sign that, at a minimum, you’re doing
something different! It is possible, though, for boundaries to be
over-the-top. You’ll learn four signs today that your boundaries
have gone too far.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #49:
- There are times when we need to set boundaries that may be
perceived as harsh. For example, if someone is (or has been)
abusive, if they’re active in an addiction, or their constant
communication is starting to feel like stalking or harassment, it’s
appropriate to set a very hard boundary.
- The first sign that a boundary may be too harsh is when you try
to set what you call a non-negotiable boundary for what is really
an important relationship need.
- The second sign that a boundary is too harsh is that you
continually set boundaries, but don’t follow through on the
consequences you express. This is typically a sign of using
boundaries for the sole purpose of controlling or manipulating
- Alienating a lot of people with limits, rules, or restrictions
around interacting with you is the third sign that your boundaries
are too harsh.
- The fourth sign that your boundaries may be too harsh is that
you consistently delay speaking your mind or setting incremental
boundaries, then suddenly you set an extremely strong boundary that
surprises others, and seems to come out of nowhere.
Highlights from Episode #49:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to today’s episode and talks about the
possibilities of boundaries being too harsh. [00:39]
- We hear a few examples of cases in which hard boundaries are
- Vicki digs into the first sign that your boundaries may be too
- The second sign that your boundaries are too harsh is that you
continually set boundaries but don’t follow through. [06:48]
- Vicki talks about the third sign that your boundaries may be
too harsh. [08:33]
- We learn about the fourth and final sign, which involves
waiting too long to speak up. [09:46]
- If the other person draws lines that seem to come out of
nowhere, try this strategy. [13:42]
- Vicki recaps the signs and solutions that she has covered in
today’s episode. [15:07]
Links and Resources: