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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Sep 11, 2019

Have you ever felt like you were in a one-sided relationship? This episode was inspired by a listener asking for help with that very issue. Vicki explain how to set boundaries if you feel you're being taken advantage of, and why if you don’t, you may end up feeling angry and resentful. 

Biggest Takeaways From Episode #63:

  • Healthy relationships feel mutual, even though there may be temporary imbalances in giving and receiving.
  • One-sided relationship usually cause anger, which leads to resentment.
  • Only you have the power to change a relationship.
  • Check out your perceptions if you think a relationship is one-sided? Does the data back it up?
  • If you're the person doing all the work in a relationship, the only action you need to take is to do less!
  • No one is obligated to explain or justify decisions we make to others.

Highlights from Episode #63:

  • Welcome back to the show! [00:40]
  • Vicki is discussing one-sided relationships, meaning that one person is giving more than the other. [01:07]
  • Have you ever felt this way in your personal relationships? At work? [01:45]
  • Unbalanced relationships can eventually feel unsatisfying. [02:36]
  • Vicki reads the listener's question that inspired this episode. [02:50]
  • How do we express our thoughts and feelings and set boundaries when a relationship is one-sided? [04:13]
  • Victim anger is Vicki's favorite definition of resentment. [05:25]
  • Does the data back up your perception? [06:50]
  • One thing you can do is pull back a bit or stop doing what you've been doing. [08:52]
  • If fear is keeping you from taking action, Vicki recommends two things you can do — baby steps and accountability. [12:45]
  • Should you tell the other person what you think or how you feel about an imbalance in a relationship? [14:20]
  • If you are the one in the relationship doing everything, the only action you need to take is to do less. [16:32]
  • Express what you want and see what happens. The response may surprise you. [18:10]
  • You don't need to explain yourself to anyone if you say no. If the other person has a problem with it, it is on their side of street to discuss with you. [20:11]
  • Sometimes maintaining connections while setting healthy boundaries mean we use fewer words. [22:30]

Links and Resources: