Feb 12, 2020
A lot of listener questions I
get have embedded expectations in them. And while not all
expectations are bad, they can definitely get us into trouble.
Valentine’s Day is a great example of this. You may be expecting
your partner to give you flowers or show up for you in a certain
way, but unless you’ve expressed this to your partner or you're not
willing to take action on what you have power over, you’re setting
yourself up for disappointment and disconnection. Tune in to learn
how to manage expectations and avoid feeling let down!
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #82:
we’re unhappy with the behavior of another person, it’s often
because we have an expectation about what they should (or
shouldn’t) be doing. But not all expectations are bad; when they’re
used wisely, they can be powerful and positive.
- There’s an important difference between
expectations and contracts or agreements. If you have an agreement
or contract with another person, not living up to it is a boundary
violation. However, it’s not a boundary violation if someone
doesn’t meet an unspoken expectation.
we have unfounded expectations, we’ll often be frustrated or upset
when our expectation isn’t met. But if you don’t ask for what you
want, you lose your right to complain when you don’t get
you believe that another person should give you something that you
could give to yourself, but you refuse to do so, you have made
getting the other person to do what you want them to do more
important than getting what you wanted.
Highlights from Episode #82:
- Welcome to this episode of the
Beyond Bitchy podcast, which is here just in time for Valentine’s
- Vicki defines what expectations
are, and explains how we can get in trouble with them.
- Your word can establish a
reasonable expectation that can cause an understandable upset even
when you don’t have an agreement with another person.
- What happens when we have
unfounded expectations? [14:34]
- Vicki points out that each of
us is the only person responsible for getting our wants or needs
- Are all expectations bad? Vicki
explains why they’re not, and talks about a useful way to utilize
- Vicki talks more about
Valentine’s Day and expectations, and offers a specific exercise
for listeners. [28:29]
Links and Resources: