Jun 10, 2020
Right now, in the United States,
trauma is speaking. Prejudice and racism wounds, and are
potentially traumatizing to anyone who experiences them. But
listening to another person’s trauma is a challenging thing to do,
especially if we perceive that we may have played a part in their
experience — even when remaining silent or looking away. Let’s talk
about how to listen when trauma speaks.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #93:
listening boundary is the most challenging boundary for most of us.
When we feel at fault or like we’re being blamed for trauma, it
takes the listening boundary to a whole new
- Prejudice and racism are spread very much like
the coronavirus; people who appear not to be infected can infect
quite a few people, and the results can be deadly.
has happened since Mr. Floyd’s death is the result of centuries of
oppression, discrimination, and systemic, institutionalized
- Notice any urges you have to defend, explain,
or make the other person feel better. This is usually a sign that
you’ve strayed into defensiveness.
Highlights from Episode #93:
- Vicki makes a clarification,
then introduces today’s episode on how to listen when trauma
- We hear Vicki’s thoughts on the
use of the words “white” and “Black” to describe people. She then
shares some of her own journey. [04:19]
- Despite having intentionally
and actively worked against it, Vicki still counts herself as a
product of the racial conditioning that she received as a child.
- Vicki shares a jaw-dropping
story about unaware racism. [18:03]
- Discomfort can make it
difficult to listen when trauma speaks. [22:36]
- What’s the solution? How do we
listen to another person’s trauma? Vicki offers some tips and
advice, and emphasizes the importance of listening.
- Vicki offers some observations
about the way that white people try to make things better, but end
up making them worse. [34:43]
- White people will never know
what it feels like to be a person of color. Vicki invites white
listeners to have curiosity, embrace humility, and to try to stay
open to the reality that others may have very different life
circumstances and experiences. [39:12]
Links and Resources: