Aug 26, 2020
One of the biggest
misconceptions about boundaries is that they’re harsh, rigid, or
mean, and that they damage intimacy. In fact, boundaries can
absolutely be expressed in a gentle way. And that’s exactly what
I’m going to talk about in detail today! I’ll share six easy and
specific ways that you can express a limit gently.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #103:
- Sometimes we go from one extreme to another,
going from struggling to say “no” to saying “no” frequently or in a
way that’s difficult for other people to hear.
are six ways you can express a limit gently:
- “Thanks, but I can’t.” (Then stop
is so kind of you! But I can’t accept/do that today.”
understand. I’m not able to do that.” Or, “I understand, but I
can’t.” (Use this when you’re getting pushback or feeling
hear you” or “I hear that.” (Use this when you’ve previously said
“no” to the same request.)
- “Thanks for the opportunity. I’m not available,
but I hope your event is fabulous!”
- “That’s a generous offer, but I’m not able to
accept it. I’ll pass, but thank you so much.”
though these responses are gentle, the recipient may still tell you
that you’re being harsh. Your gentleness doesn’t guarantee a
Highlights from Episode #103:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to the
episode and introduces its topic: whether boundaries can be gentle.
She also shares a story from Sheri Winston, who was
previously on the
- It’s common to go from one
extreme to the other, Vicki explains. [03:52]
- We hear what it sounds like
when we haven’t found ways to express boundaries gently.
- Vicki shares the first four of
her strategies for expressing boundaries in a gentle way.
- The recipient of these
responses may still say you’re being harsh, Vicki points out, then
shares the remaining strategies. [15:11]
- Each of Vicki’s strategies
begins with an acknowledgment, and most have appreciation.
- Vicki points out that you have
no control over how the listener responds. [20:26]
Links and Resources: