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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Nov 25, 2020

Happy Thanksgiving! This episode is coming out just in time to help you navigate the complexities of holidays in the time of COVID-19 (although the points about safety are always relevant). As we explore this new complex landscape, let's take some time to talk about boundaries, agreements, and the freedom to choose. 


Biggest Takeaways From Episode #114:

  • When you hear words like “let” or “made” (in the sense of “making” someone do something), they often indicate that the person using them doesn’t fully understand how boundaries work.
  • If you make a request and someone else freely agrees, no one is being “made” to do anything. And the act of making a request isn’t controlling, because it recognizes the freedom that the other person has to make their own decisions.
  • During the pandemic, we’re faced with many dilemmas as we navigate what to do based on what the people around us are doing (or not doing). 
  • Remember that you get to decide what’s best for you, and for the people in your care. Other people also get to decide what’s best for them, including requiring that you get tested before you come to their house.


Highlights from Episode #114:

  • Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode was inspired by a listener’s question about how to  apply boundaries around different perceptions of safety regarding COVID-19. [00:39]
  • Vicki responds to the listener, complimenting her boundary work and pointing out that parents are responsible for their children’s safety. [04:25]
  • We hear about where the listener’s question becomes a little bit confusing—and why her opportunity to negotiate boundaries will go on for years or decades. [13:18]
  • Vicki explores one of the most challenging parts of boundaries during COVID-19, and returns to addressing questions of freedom and control. [17:03]
  • You are the decider for what is best for you and the people in your care. [22:38]


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