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Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries

Jul 21, 2021

I’m lucky enough to have been able to give myself the gift of a 27-day sabbatical, which gave me so much clarity into both my personal and professional life. And now that I’m back, I’m inspired to offer some insight about the four common challenges I see across all sorts of boundary questions in various situations. I’ll cover the first two challenges today, and the third and fourth next week.


Biggest Takeaways From Episode #142:

  • Even if it’s only a few minutes a day, please carve out a few minutes a day for yourself. It’s important to give yourself the gift of time even if your life is incredibly full and busy.
  • Most questions about boundaries, regardless of the specific details, center around four specific challenges: 
    • Who’s Got the Power?
    • Stinkin’ Thinkin’
    • Live and Let Live
    • Change, So That I Can Feel Better
  • There are essentially two kinds of power: “Power Over” and “Authentic Personal Power.” The first type is based in control and fear; we all need to strive for the second type.
  • Stinkin’ Thinkin’ is thinking that’s distorted. You may think that how someone treats you determines how you treat them, or that you need to be on the same page and think the same way as other people.


Highlights from Episode #142:

  • Vicki welcomes listeners to the episode and talks about the value of carving out some time for yourself. [00:39]
  • The next Boundaries Clarifier Workshop will take place on July 27, 2021. [04:10]
  • After receiving hundreds of questions, Vicki has noticed that the majority center around four specific challenges. She will cover the first two today. [05:26]
  • Vicki talks about the first of the four challenges: Who’s Got the Power? [10:58]
  • We hear a list of qualities that describe acting from a place of authentic personal power. She also talks about the difference between personal power and ultimatums. [15:25]
  • What does it look like when you think you don’t have power? [20:43]
  • Vicki moves on to talking about the second challenge: Stinkin’ Thinkin’. [26:12]
  • Being unconscious of what’s going on with us is another kind of distorted thinking. Vicki shares an example from her own life. [31:53]
  • Vicki explains why Stinkin’ Thinkin’ is such a problem. [36:48]


Links and Resources: