Jan 16, 2019
A question I get from time to time that always surprises me:
“What do you do when you make a request of another person, and they
ignore your request?” Assuming that you know that the other person
heard your request, it’s painful to get no response. Today’s
episode explores what to do if this happens to you.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #42:
- How you respond when someone ignores your request depends a lot
on who you made a request of, the type of request you’ve made, and
how important that request is to you.
- There are different ways that people can ignore requests:
pretending they didn’t hear (or read) the request, or tell you
they’ll get back to you later and then never follow up.
- When an important request of an important person is ignored,
start with the least pathological explanation. If the person says
they’ll get back to you but they don’t, follow up with them and ask
for a timeframe. If they responded to your communication but not
your request, follow up on the request specifically.
- If you’ve done all of the above but this person still avoids
responding, you have important information about that person. What
does it mean for you to know that this person is avoidant? Can you
get your want or need met without agreement from this person?
Highlights from Episode #42:
- Vicki welcomes listeners to this episode, which will address
the question of what you do when your request is ignored.
- We hear a quick refresher on the difference between zones of
privacy and zones of intimacy, and how they’re relevant to today’s
- Vicki clarifies the spectrum of attachment styles, and points
out that people who ignore requests tend to lean toward the
avoidant end of the spectrum. [07:04]
- There are a couple of ways that people can ignore requests,
Vicki explains. [09:36]
- Vicki offers advice on what to do assuming the request and
person are important to you. [12:12]
- We hear a story of something that happened to Vicki that’s
relevant to her points. [14:53]
- What do you do if you’ve done everything right, but the person
still doesn’t respond? [19:50]
- Vicki shares a question to ask yourself, and advice on how to
find the answer. [22:38]
- If you’re asking someone who’s not very important to you for a
very small thing, and you continue to repeat your request, you may
have deeper issues around your perception that others are ignoring
you are or dismissive. [25:45]
- Vicki recaps the points that she’s covered today. [27:54]
Links and Resources: